Apparently, we’ve just got through Blue Monday and before that it was Quitters Friday, which sort of makes sense since we’re in the dark cold bowels of January, Christmas is a distant memory, and it’s ages until Easter (no matter how many sputtering MPs in supermarket car parks want to pretend offence at chocolate eggs are on the shelves already). I can’t help thinking that such miserably named days are commerce and tabloid led, and that most of us won’t have noticed if we didn’t have our social feeds to remind us of such things (in this household, there’s not so much Blue Monday or Quitters Friday, but there is certainly a What Will Claudia Be Wearing On The Traitors Wednesday Thru Friday), but apparently there are a few less people in the gym this week, much to the delight of the regulars who have been putting the work in week in, week out for a number of years.
But to anyone who started a new thing on January 1st – be it exercise, or making sure you’re writing 500 words a day, or joining a new acting class – and have already stopped (or, as it seems to be called, Given Up), or perhaps not even got around to it yet: well done. Giving Up is absolutely a privilege you have. Put simply, if it’s not Giving You Joy, you can definitely Marie Condo yourself. It’s not about being clear, or correct, or self righteous: you can look after yourself first. And that means being happy, and practicing self care.
Now, that may not sound helpful if you’re intending to improve or better yourself (and there’s room for argument on both those phrases), but getting out of a slump or getting things finally done doesn’t have to cause you pain. Far from it. Having goals and deadlines can be helpful and they can help you focus and be accountable to yourself. But starting from a deadline – January 1st – isn’t that healthy. The game is rigged: while I can’t claim to speak for everybody, let’s acknowledge a reasonable amount of people (and certainly a high proportion of the type of people who will attempt a New Year’s resolution) will have had a few days off over Christmas. That – paired off with good food, chocolate, and at least two things that will have been worth watching – will put people in a good headspace, and make them think that, yes, maybe there are enough hours in the day to practice piano every lunchtime. Forgetting that the average day can be a bit of a demolisher, and that it’s easy to let six days go past without committing to your new cause at all (we shouldn’t beat ourselves up too much about this: we spend most of each October going ‘isn’t it getting dark?’ at 4pm, apparently forgetting that this happens every single year).
And once we stumble, we think we’re out of the race. That it’s time to give up. And while – as I’ve already indicated – Giving Up is a perfectly legitimate and reasonable response, if you feel that actually you still want to continue with whatever it is you started (a weekly swim, contacting those people you’ve been intending for eleven years to meet with for a coffee), then quite literally nobody’s stopping you. You didn’t fail, you didn’t give up: it’s a pause. A taking in of breath before continuing. It doesn’t have to start on January 1st. It can be a random Tuesday in March. Or, if you’ve been plodding through a comparatively unremarkable year, the middle of August. This is why the Back To School displays do so well – not because of the kids, as much, but because we all like an excuse to stock up on the stationery.
The point is, that we don’t need a new year to start our year anew. That can happen at any time, and for any reason. Yeah, you can gather your rosebuds while ye may (that’s about the passing of time, right?) but the truth is that the meadow is always open, and as far as we know, it could stretch for miles.
Talking about accountability, I run the online Ironclad Creative Writing Sprint every weekday at 9am GMT. No teaching, no sharing, no feedback – just a virtual space where a bunch of friendly writers hang out and write / don’t quite manage to write in each other’s company, screens or or off as people wish. It’s free, and can be booked via this link here.
This is Andrew Allen 